How to write your vows

Writing your own vows can be overwhelming. How do you put everything you love about your person, your hopes and dreams as a couple and the future on a single piece of paper?! And THEN be able to read it without crying?! 

Writing your own vows is very special as you get to promise yourself to the other person in your words.

First off, consider discussing with your partner about the vows…

  • Do you want them to be short or long?
  • Do you want them to be biblical or not?
  • Do you want them to be creative or more formal?
  • Do you want there to be certain promises you make to one another?

Once you decide the general structure, take notes and brainstorm what you want to say. 

Here are a handful of tips and writing prompts to help inspire your own vows:

Special Moment

Was there a special moment in which you knew you were going to marry your partner? Or was there a moment when you felt his/her unconditional love? Sharing these stories may be too personal for the larger audience, but still a wonderful moment to share with others.


Does a poem/song remind you of your journey together of the other person? Considering writing a poem as part of your vows, or recite part of the lyrics of the song.


What are you promising? Are you going to promise something more formal (“through sickness and in health”) or be more casual? Are you going to promise how you’re going to support, challenge and better the other person?

MARRIED WOMAN TIP: Consider making a promise that you will care for yourself too. If you strive to be the best version of yourself, it will help you to be a better partner in the marriage.

Impacted your Life

In what ways has your partner enhanced your life? Have they pushed you? Opened you up? Showed you the world? Taught you a new way of thinking? Demonstrated how safe a quality relationship can be? Tell them!


What do you look forward to in your marriage? How do you envision your marriage? What promises can you make to always strive for in your marriage?


Every person has their own passions, and while you may or may not share some of the same passions (which is 100% normal and fine, we are all made differently), considering sharing how you appreciate their passions. What have you learned about them through their passions?


What are you looking forward to? What goals do you have?

Religious verse/passage

Do you have a verse that is impactful to you? Share that and how it relates to you and/or the relationship.

Write out your vows. (This will be a draft.)

A sample outline of vows:

  • State their name
  • Share a story of history, impactful moment stating why you choose them
  • Make your promises
  • Share dreams of the future together
  • Final promise
  • “I love you”

Read your vows. Out loud!

Yes, you need to practice saying them. Consider even reading them to a friend.

Make final edits and then write your final draft. 



You got this! We are cheering for you!