Next Level Relationship

Hang on! We are about to get DEEP!

We believe it is paramount to have a solid foundation to marriage. It may seem like common sense to discuss these questions, but going deep is important. And remember, while you may have a certain belief now, it may change throughout various seasons of your marriage!

While some faiths require premarital counseling or pre cana, we believe it’s important to have in depth discussions about each person’s beliefs around the various topics listed below outside of those organized sessions. How you were raised and events in your life shape those beliefs – and that is 100000% ok! Discovering those beliefs, expectations, wants and envisioning your future life around these topics with your partner will only help understand one another better!

Go deep, sort through differences and listen to your partner, because if you don’t do it now, it will most likely come up later! Think of these discussions as avenues to strengthen your relationship prior to getting married.

Money

How will we manage our finances once married? Together? Separate?
What would a budget look like to you? How much are we spending each month, saving, putting toward a car/house/vacation/etc.?
When do you want to retire by? What do you want retirement to look like?
How much can we each spend without having to ask the other person?
Did you grow up with an allowance?

Career

If one of us has an opportunity to relocate, are you ok with it?
What if one of us is laid off? What would be your plan of action?
What if your career becomes too consuming and creates hardships, would you walk away?
What is your 10 year career plan?

Family

What are holidays going to look like? Will they look different if we have children?
Do you have any important family traditions?
What was your childhood like?
What values from your parents/family will you bring into the relationship?
What values from your parents/family will you NOT bring in or want to change in our relationship?
Was your family affectionate?
Did you grow up with a healthy example of marriage? What did it look like to you?

Past Relationships

What were some mistakes you made in a past relationship?
What were some mistakes you felt your past partners made?
Were any of your past relationships physically or emotionally abusive?
What have you learned about trust and commitment
What does trust and commitment look like to you? Are there things I can do to show that?
How did your past relationship(s) impact you?

Sex & Intimacy

What if we have mismatched sex drives at times?
What can we do to “reignite the fire” if we need to?
Do you have any fears around intimacy?

Parenting

Do you want to have children?
What if we are unable to conceive? Would we be open to other methods or adoption?
When would you want to have children?
How many children would you want to have?
How were you raised? Disciplined? Would you want to do things the same or differently when parenting our children?
If you or your partner are bringing kids into the relationship, discuss the roles each one would play in their lives? Or what expectations do you have for them?

Conflict

How do you approach conflict?
Are you a fix it now person, or want to wait, think and then come back?
Would you be open to couples therapy, if needed?
If I have an issue, how would you like me to approach it/you?
How do we ensure that divorce is not an option for us?

Spirituality & Religion

Did you grow up practicing a faith?
Do you think it is important to have faith in a marriage? What does that look like to you?
How would you describe your faith/spirituality/religion?
How would we approach religion with our children?

And lastly, it is ok to bring up these topics after you are married as well!

Situations, circumstances and people change throughout a marriage and so do opinions, hopes and dreams!